Where have I been, and will I return?

While I meant the subject of this entry to pertain to my presence on this blog, I stopped and thought about the question from a mental point of view. Where have I been? Where am I now? And will I ever return to where I was before?

I think not.

Now on to the reason I have been horribly neglecting my blog. It's because I am writing a book on being here. As of right now I have 150 typed single-spaced pages. :) Anything that I would normally have posted here is going into the book, so I haven't been on here at all recently.

Will I be back? Probably not much. I think there might be a couple sporadic entries between now and when I return in July, but don't count on a lot. One that has a good chance on making it here is a paper that I am writing on brazilian men (and women, but it focuses on men) and how they act in relationships, in marriages, how they feel about fidelity and the emotional/physical substance of a relationship... and a lot more. I am finally starting to crack open the brazilian mind when it comes to this stuff and it is so completely different from the American point of view that I will probably post it here.

Spellcheck is extremely upset with me right now because my internet's default language is português, so I'll appease it with a quote that I'll be talking about in my essay.

"Deus é fiel." God is faithful. No próximo, vou falar sobre esse frase que existe nas janelas dos carros e permanente nos corpos. Minha amiga, Xannon, ache que no Brasil, só Deus é fiel. Isso é verdade? Vamos ver!

Até mais,
Madi

This morning

So Carnaval is now over.
I got home at 9 am this morning. I took a shower and gazed amusedly at the floor of the bathroom. Glitter was everywhere. When I got out there were still traces of green face paint around my hairline. I smiled looking at my reflection and wondered if people were really capable of glowing, because I sure felt and looked like I was. I went to my room, shook some excess sand off of my sheets and dodged the many bottles of body paint scattered around my room as I opened up the doors to my veranda.
A perfect blue sky.

Changed.

This week I came to the full realization that I am not the same person who came here 6 months ago. Not at all. And I never, ever will be the same again.

And I am completely and utterly thrilled with this.