Trying Times

Living abroad can be quite difficult. Ironically, what used to be the easiest things to handle back in the states are the hardest things here. Ordering food, talking to someone on the bus, asking for directions... it is all difficult. Every time I leave my house I enter a jungle of unknowns and challenges. Heck, even leaving my room can be scary!
There are many things I can handle here. I can handle ice cold showers that suddenly turn scalding hot. I can handle looking down at my water glass and realizing I just drank ants. I can handle being the only white person. I can handle the constant threat of getting mugged. I can handle it when my credit card suddenly stops working and I have no money to get home. I can handle being sick for one straight month and not having any medicine that works. I can handle not eating cheese (one of my favorite foods!) because it is disgusting here, and I can handle cooking everything from scratch because they don´t have tomato sauce, tortilla chips, salsa, and many more things here in Brazil. I can handle it when my school gives me my family one month late and places me all the way out in Larangeiras where I have to commute an hour just to get to my classes. I can handle not being able to go outside alone at night. I can handle trying to go to the shopping mall and instead ending up in the largest favela in Brazil. I can handle all sorts of things but sometimes the thought of going outside and ordering a hot dog makes me want to curl up in my bed and cuddle my stuffed animal.